A Tully Public Service Announcement

To all my blog readers so faithful and understanding...

Due to unfortunate (largely foreseen) circumstances, this week’s director’s blog will be incredibly brief. In fact, that was it.

I have to get to rehearsal, damnit.

(Joshua William Gelb is off the computer and out the door running... A few seconds later he returns to pick up the brass birdcage he left behind. He is gone again)

The Tully Blog: New and Improved!

(Joshua William Gelb enters his Washington Heights apartment. It is late. The place looks unfamiliar, like a foreign land once visited but long evacuated. Come from yet another day devoured by rehearsals, Joshua William Gelb feels alienated in his own home. He knows he must blog… but really… can’t a guy just get some sleep?)

Alright, everyone… From here on in, the blogs get brief. I don’t mean to disappoint, but considering the whole writing and directing a musical opening next Thursday thing, I somehow find I’m at a loss for spare time. Thusly, to make this feature both more efficient to write and less strenuous to read, this week I shall blog by bullet. I’ve followed a simple Q&A structure, so let’s get things started.

• · What’s new, Joshua William Gelb? -- Well, today the cast of Tully performed at a street-fair between East 74^th and 75^th. Our performance followed that of Alter Boys, which consisted of five men singing catchy sorta-semi-parody pop tunes about Jesus Christ communicating with people on cell phones. Sadly enough, this was sort of an awkward situation since we had planned to do our own deity/communications inspired pop medley. And the awkwardness didn't end there… we were all totally wearing the same outfits.

• · What’s yet to come, Joshua William Gelb? -- Oh, I’d rather not think about the rest of this week. The prospect of fully staging this show is a fairly daunting one. It’s easier to forget about the days to come, simply drinking myself to sleep with no concern for tomorrow. That I wake up with no recollection of today or yesterday is only a perk.

• · Do you find yourself drinking yourself to sleep often, Josh? -- Hold on there, busy bee, let’s not get therapeutic. These are my problems, not yours.

• · Well, what can I do to help the cause, J.W.G? -- Well, golly, blog-readers, that one’s easy. Buy your tickets to Tully (In No Particular Order) at the New York Musical Theatre Festival!

• · But when does the show run? -- Get on the ball, people. Tully opens on the 20^th of September and runs to the 28^th at the Sage Theatre in Times Square.

• · Am I available those days? -- Beats the crap out of me. But I recommend you make yourself available. This show is not to be missed. I mean, where else can you find a splashy musical about a Christian boy-band replete with a catchy sorta-semi-parody pop score?

• · Is that really what your show is about? Christian Rock? -- Yes. Yes, it is.

• · Really? -- Yes.

• · Really, really? -- Okay, no it isn’t. It’s about this convict fighting to survive during the bloody days of the French Revolution.

• · End of Blog.

YIPPEE-KI-YAY, Bloggers

Well, it’s officially started! We’ve set sail! The journey’s underway! Rehearsals for Tully have begun with a vengeance!

(Joshua William Gelb pauses. Wonders where he got that phraseology: “With a vengeance.” Hmm… Must be from Die Hard, he postulates. Though the phrase doesn’t quite fit here, does it? Who are we avenging? The Soviets? Alan Rickman? Just don’t draw attention to it. Maybe no one will notice)

Yes, Blog readers, one week in and all I ask myself when I get up in the morning is: “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” Of course, I can’t lay sole claim to this phrase. I’m quite sure it’s been uttered by many an overwhelmed man before me. Why, in this circumstance alone I’ve already plagiarized the term from my producer, Mr. Michael Height, who, for some reason, keeps telling me the show’s getting too expensive (Though I don’t really understand what the man’s talking about. I know I’ve been in some serious product placement negotiations this week). Of course, you wouldn’t guess the state of Michael Height’s financial strain from the man’s countenance and bearing. Oh no, no, no… On the outside, that Michael Height is all smiles and confidence; a refreshing burst of energy and peppermint flavor… Just like spearmint gum!

(See Michael, in that sentence alone we can pick up the rest of the budget!)

Where was I? Oh, yes! “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” I mean, firstly, at Wednesday’s rehearsal, instead of -- I don’t know -- directing, I was being, like, interviewed by this reporter from the LA Times. And, and -- and then on Friday, I’m getting calls because, turns out, Tully was mentioned in something called Entertainment Weekly. And, and, and -- and on Saturday, my parents, like, so received an unsolicited e-blast from, like, Theater Mania, like, advertising our show. And, and, and --

(Joshua William Gelb shakes his head flippantly)

You know, I just don’t think I’m ready for this kind of fame. I mean, just yesterday, walking through Times Square I was, like, accosted by a family of Japanese tourists. And I was like, “Yes, yes, I am Joshua William Gelb, the book writer and director of Tully (In No Particular Order).” And I mean, these people actually asked me to, like, take their picture with The Naked Cowboy. And I’m like, “Just cause I’m a celebrated musical theatre director, doesn’t mean I know how to work a camera.” And in the Village, it’s even worse. I mean, there are actually these tour busses of, like, gawking Midwesterners, like, following me -- like, stalking me down Broadway. And I’m like, “Yes, yes, Joshua William Gelb -- Tully (In No Particular Order) -- National Hero, I know!” And today, at, like, Virgin Megastore, this one guy actually asked me to sign an autograph for him! I was, like, “Jeez.” I mean, he was so, like, “Hey man, you have to sign your receipt,” -- but I know that trick. I totally pulled that shit on Dustin Hoffman, like, twice when I was working at Barnes and Noble. This town is disgusting. So celebrity infatuated. I’m mean really, where does it end? I’m a person too, you know. Not just some Panasonic automaton.

(What did I tell ya, Michael? Product Placement! It’s gold, Michael! Gold!)

By this time tomorrow, I bet I’m gonna need a bodyguard… Whatever happened to the Guardian Angels? They were pretty badass, with those berets and those matching jackets… Sort of like the Pink Ladies in the current revival of Grease, which, by the by, happens to be playing right now at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre!

(Do you hear the sound of antique cash registers, Michael? Do you? Because I do. KaChing! KaChing!)